Welcome to my blog! This is a remarkably deep topic to address on a first post, but I couldn't help myself, and I'm just going to jump right in. I'll talk about myself later, and I'll explain the weird blog title :)
I just watched a clip of NY senator Diane Savino speaking in favor of legalized same-sex marriages in context of the Marriage Equality bill (yes it's from 2009 so it's old, but the issue is still current! Here's the link if you want to watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCFFxidhcy0&feature=youtu.be). Please forgive me if my thoughts are a bit scattered; I'll do my best to express them coherently and as inoffensively as possible.
Since its founding America has stood for freedom, equality, inalienable rights, and other such principles. "Equality" seems to be the trigger word for those that wish same-sex marriages legalized: as Savino points out, why is it that a man and a woman may marry tomorrow regardless of the strength of their relationship but a committed and strong gay couple is forbidden to do so just because the law says they can't? According to American political thought (which is based (at least in principle) on equality), at least on the surface this would indeed be a serious violation of our basic rights as American citizens. All should be given the opportunity to enjoy the happiness that comes from a loving relationship! However, American political thought is not the only context to take into account.
Obviously gay marriage is a tough issue, and I don't claim to know even a fraction about it. I don't want to argue biology or politics about this with anyone because I honestly don't know the answer. After some thought, however, I invite you to consider the following angle. Each of us seems to have a good sense of what's fair and what's not. If we're cheated or wronged in some way we feel shortchanged and ill-used, right? No matter how backwards an accountable someone may be, at some point in their life each man or woman has felt the influence of universal justice. Without getting into specifics, it's sufficient to say that the concept of justice is widely understood. At least in America (though I would wager that almost all of mankind also has at least a basic understanding of the same) we're very conscious of those that encroach upon our property, our time, and anything that belongs to us, intellectual or otherwise. The point is this: be it in whatever form it may (God, nature, the universe, or some other entity), there exists a natural law and order of some sort. Why else would we feel that something was fair or unfair? If we ever feel that we have been treated unfairly, this requires that a set of rules that applies to us has been violated. This further suggests that we as individuals have the ability to choose whether we follow these rules or not.
Many in America have taken the position that gay marriage is inherently wrong, and most claim some sort of religious doctrine as their source for such sentiments. All who do so insist in some form or another that the order of nature (or God, the universe, or whatever) forbids such interactions. We therefore (finally!) come to our point of debate: equality and the right to choose vs. the decrees of natural law and order. I could go in so many different directions with this, but I'm sure you're getting sick of reading so I'll try to be brief. There is an all-powerful God who rules in the heavens above, and He has decreed that gay marriage in all forms is forbidden. He has our best interests at heart and is all-powerful, so I invite you to consider what He has to say about the subject. I add that He loves you and I more than we can possibly fathom, AND He loves those that struggle with gay tendencies much more than we (particularly those that seek to defend their lifestyle) ever could in our present state. I don't know why gay marriage isn't kosher...but I do know that God has said it isn't, and that He loves us. It must be for our benefit, then! And indeed if God exists (and He does) then it IS in our best interest to do as He directs.
As a society our morals are relative--our country is following a trend of self-indulgence that, when taken to the extreme (as the stories in the Bible indicate), will lead to worst case scenarios that leave NO ONE happy. Why is murder wrong? Well, it probably has something to do with the fact that we're interfering with someone else's privilege to live; gay marriage in a manner of speaking is the same if indeed homosexuality has such a negative impact on our society as a whole (and it does, as God has said). In allowing what God would have us avoid we defeat the purpose of coming to earth to begin with--to learn true happiness by becoming more Christlike in God's appointed way. With this in mind, we do not only ourselves an injustice but we legalize (and thus indirectly encourage) actions that have terribly negative consequences on those that have gay tendencies. It's much better to do someone a favor in God's way (which is certainly much better than my own), much like a parent that doesn't let a child cross a busy street unattended or doesn't allow dangerous drugs in the home, than it is to give in to self-indulgence (even if done in the name of freedom and equality).
I repeat that I don't know all the reasons why gay marriage isn't acceptable. There are many that argue concerning how bad marriages between a man and a woman can be--Vegas marriages, marriages for money, etc. I believe just as strongly that those relationships need fixing as well. But the ideal we shoot for is rooted in an understanding of God's purpose for us here on earth, which when complied with brings a lasting happiness and peace that I testify are better than any earthly gift. These are people--God's children--that we're talking about. This is much bigger than mere politics or even individual choice. I invite those who disagree to read The Family: A Proclamation to the World (http://lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,00.html) and spend some time speaking with He whom I know to be God--the Father of us all, the Creator, He who sent His Only Begotten Son to take upon us all of our pains, sins, and sicknesses--and with no pretenses or prejudices accept the answer that He gives to love those who struggle with this as Jesus would, and to always be there to help them in any way we can.
So, what should we do about it? I'm not sure. However, may we all (myself included) set aside our relatively unlearned opinions and instead let the light of Christ flood our souls and guide our actions in this difficult issue.
great insights matt
ReplyDeleteSome might misconstrue and extrapolate your reference to murder as a direct comparison with gay marriage and therefore assume you are saying they are on equal grounds. They would be wrong to do so for two reasons: 1) You didn't make this assertion. 2) They are not on the same ground. Murder is worse though sexual sin comes next in the hierarchy of sin. But I will make a comparison of the two (while remembering point 2!) in that if murder robs a person of their choice to live, homosexual relationships rob the unborn of the same choice. Say what you may about that comparison but I stand by it while noting that it isn't the hinge my perspective on gay marriage turns. It is simply a point.
ReplyDeleteMy second thought is on the video Matt referenced at the beginning of his post. A portion of the argument made by the lady is that those who are allowed to enter into heterosexual marriages in America have misused it. She passionately made points and in some instances used statements that are more extreme than reality, thus weakening her argument. In essence, she was saying that we should throw the baby out with the bathwater when it comes to defining what marriage is and replace the entire system with a new one. Such extreme action is unacceptable and dangerous. I advocate equality. The argument that same-sex couples should be allowed to marry for equality purposes misses the mark. Marriage laws are equal to all. Any two consenting individuals of age of the opposite gender may marry regardless of their sexual preference. Now, whether you believe that is fair or right is a different debate. I won't dive into that here though as this is Matt's blog. However, I think you've made some great comments, Matt, and I applaud you for not shying away from stating why you believe as you do. America is a place where religious values are allowed to be at the forefront of why we believe and act as we do and should not be forced into a quiet room out of the public square.
Welcome to the blogging world!
ReplyDeletei think that your blog post was very brave. i have chosen not to have a stand on the subject. i see valid points from both sides and i don't encourage gay marriage, but i also don't forbid it. i feel i am in the "safe zone" when it comes to religious standing and social standing which may sound cowardly.. but i promise its not. its just me trying my best in life, and not wanting to tell other people how to live. i never want to make someone else hate themselves or their own life even if they are living in a way that i wouldnt. I have made plenty of choices in my life that didn't result in happiness, and through product of elimination, i discovered what does make me happy. something i will say tho, is not about gay marriage but about our self esteem and how it may affect the way we view other people. I had a friend who was very insecure and he wished he looked differently. He also considered himself homosexual. He is a member of the church and struggled severely since he was young with his identity and feeling like he couldn't be open with his family and friends. He was very depressed and even suicidal and decided to check himself into a hospital because he was afraid he would make a very bad choice and end it all. in the hospital there was a nurse and he asked my friend why he felt he was gay and.. my friend didn't have an answer except the obvious "i'm attracted to men" reply. The nurse then asked a few questions about how he felt about the way he looked. he then went on to say that he believed that people often mistake envy for attraction. that when we see a person that we wish we looked like, , we want that body. we don't realize that we want it to be us, but we think we just want it and we get very confused about which feeling we are experiencing. this happens for awhile and eventually it becomes part of us. we loose our focus on the possibility that we could still be attracted to the opposite sex, and eventually act on it resulting in "proof" that we are then gay. I don't claim to know anything on the subject of whether people are born gay or not. but i do know that sometimes this is the reason someone might become gay. It really hit home for my friend and he has now "found himself" and figured out what really makes him happy. some people might find that people of their same sex makes them happy still.
ReplyDeleteI dont know if this comment matters to anyone, and i don't want to preach to anyone or make someone feel like i am discounting their struggles. But if this hits home for you and this helps you understand yourself better, then i don't regret posting it. My friend really helped me understand some things even about myself(although this is not specifically something i have struggled with) and some of my other friends so i am grateful he shared his experience with me.